The Many Lovers of Molly Dawes
by Suze21
Summary: All the men in Molly Dawes' life love her. They love her for different reasons and in different ways but it's always completely and unconditionally. And she loves them too! I don't own anything in the "Our Girl" universe and all credit goes to the amazing people who did create it. If I had any say in that world Capt. James would be on permanent loan to the Oz Army.
1. Chapter 1

I may not 'ave loved Molly Dawes the best during 'er life but I have loved 'er the longest.

When 'er Mum told me she was pregnant I was tickled pink, shitting myself but excited at bein' a Dad. We were barely more than kids ourselves, what did we know 'bout babies an' raising 'em, but we were more than 'appy that we were doin' it.

Everyone thought I wanted a boy but I didn't care, really I didn't, boy or girl. I'd planned to teach 'em 'bout football, how to ride a bike an' do all sorts of stuff.

When she was born, I was there. I raced in from work, I did. I was holdin' Belinda's hand an' then there she was, screamin' 'er bloody head off. Always been a mouthy one, our Molly.

Me and Mol always got along fine until I did my back in. I couldn't do all the things I used to do wif her, I couldn't work and there was the bleedin' pain as well. I turned into a right twat, she grew into a teenager and things just went from bad to worse. But I never stopped loving her- she's my Molly.

I was angry with 'er when she first joined the bleedin' army. All I could see was how it would affect me, no one to get money off, no one to babysit the kids, do things around the 'ouse.

Her pikey boyfriends, none of 'em been any good. That Artan wanted Molly to marry 'im, said he'd help me out with disability but Mol put paid to that, even after I threatened to cut her off. I was pissed off at her 'bout that an' I did stop her Mum and the kids from seeing 'er. Belinda won't happy 'bout it, gave me a bollockin' every chance she got.

The bloke she's got now, he's alright. He's been good to her, kept an eye on 'er in Afghan, 'long wif Smurf and the others. She saved 'is life an' all. Mol saved a few of them boys in Afghan, 'specially if you listen to the way Smurf told the story of 'ow she saved 'im. Swinging from the end of a rope, makin' sure 'e didn't bleed to death before they could get 'im back to the 'ospital. Her bloke got 'er a medal from the Queen for 'er bravery.

I thought she was on wit' that bloke, Smurf. 'E came round here a couple times when they was on leave. Good bloke, you'd hav' to be blind not to see 'e was in love wif our Mol. But she just kept saying 'e was a mate 'n' that was all. Then the poor bugger died. Made it 'ome from Afghan, only to keel over on the pitch. We saw the ambo an' all, didn't think it had anything to do with those two. Mols rode to the hospital in the back wif Smurf. I think she was glad to be wif 'im, at the end. She did love 'im in 'er own way.

Her new guy, was the one she raced to see when she first got home. Turns out she didn't have permission to go see him. Told me she did, bein' the Medic an' all. Trust our Mols to ignore orders and do as she pleases. Don't know if she got into any trouble for it though. Sounds like it was touch an' go wif 'im for a while but knowing Mol, she would 'ave dragged 'im through it regardless. She wouldn't let 'im go, if she loves 'im.

This Charles is the one who told her she should go back to Afghan to finish what she'd started over there. He seems to want the best for her. He keeps telling her to "be brilliant", as if. I wonder what his game is. I mean I think Molly is great but she's my kid. What does he see in her? He 'ad better not be usin' 'er, slummin' it I think they call it. She's my kid and I don't want to be used by some rich bloke an' dumped. And he's much older than her an' all.

But the Army's been good for her. I didn't think she had it in her to do good at anything but she's proved me wrong. I thought she'd have a problem following all them rules and regulations in the Army but she's done ok. She learnt some new skills, travelled a bit and even become a hero, saving Smurf 'n all. It's given her some good dosh as well.

When she first went away on her first tour without sayin' goodbye to me I'll admit it, I was a little hurt, couldn't really blame her though. I'd been a right twat to her. And when she was gone for so long I suddenly found that I missed 'er. You don't realize what you've got 'til it's gone I suppose.

She's changed too since she's been in. We've had a few little chats like when her Mum had that poncey friend, Shazza. Mol told me that I should hold her Mum's hand and then I'd move up with 'er. Good advice it was too!

What was really good was, when she came home from her first tour, her Nan hired a car and we went to meet her at the airport. Belinda and her Mum were huggin' Molls and I could barely get a word in but Molls reached out to me, to hol' me hand. I think that's when we turned a corner.

I may not love 'er the best but I loved Molly Dawes her entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

I love Molly Dawes as a teacher loves a student who is seen as a challenge or as a lost cause.

I first met Molly Dawes when she was put in my section in basic training. And over those weeks I came to love that little mischief maker. I could see she would be the one that would try it on but I could also see that if she put her mind to it, she could exceed all expectations.

As she stood on that line, listening to the welcome speech I had a given a thousand times before I could see the glint in her eyes, those gorgeous green eyes, a hint of mischief playing around her mouth. I knew we were in for trouble.

I could tell she was going to be a mouthy little troublemaker and I can tell you, at times I did have doubts that she'd make it.

I had to chase her for her letter home which told me something. I had to keep asking for the letter and I don't think it was because she thought she was invincible. I think it was because she didn't want to say goodbye to them. Although I don't think she had an easy time of it at home she obviously loves them.

Molly thought that I wanted her, romantically that is, she questioned me when she and Katie were working in the store room. Just because Chris Ingrams was gone and she thought I'd had something to do with it, but he was just a lousy soldier and I told her that he had a bad attitude.

I can see why she would think that I'd be interested in her that way. I had been advising her, encouraging her to focus on her career and to get herself into a good place, to keep her mouth shut and to make a good first impression.

Naturally, for Molly, that means I want something from her. In another time and place, like on a Saturday night at the pub, that might have happened. She's a pretty girl, smart and funny but it was my job to see that she was prepared to be the best soldier she could be.

I threw Molly in a few situations to see what she was made of, like when the parents of the lad turned up to collect his kit, but there were some situations I had no control over. Like when Molly realised that Lauren was in trouble on the course. She doubled back to help her, it was good work. Or when she realised Katie wasn't going home on leave and she insisted that she come to hers.

All of these examples show exactly why Molly was going to be an excellent medic. Her strength, both physical and emotional, she's empathetic, compassionate, she needs to help make things better, and she's capable and observant. And she certainly didn't disappoint when she became a medic.

I heard on the grapevine that she didn't have the best start to her tour of Afghan. If I heard right, the Captain said that if she couldn't fit in and be part of the team, he would "have no hesitation in lobbing her off the plane". That must have cut Molly good and proper. But I'm guessing that Molly didn't make the best first impression. She has a habit of doing that even after I drilled it into her not to. I'm also guessing that Captain changed his mind pretty damn quick once he'd seen her in action.

I tell you, I couldn't have been prouder of one of mine, when I heard that Molly had received the Military Cross. I knew that she could be amazing if she could focus enough. She must have put on quite a show to earn that. Once again, if the grapevine is right, she proved to all the blokes of her section and especially the Captain that she is more than just a mouthy medic. She can back any words up plenty of action.

I saw Molly transform when she was doing basic but she kept on growing when she left. She is the one who after looking like a hopeless cause turned out, given the right training, encouragement and support, to be the stand out student.

And that's why I love Molly Dawes, she's my stand out student and best recruit ever.


	3. Chapter 3

I love Molly Dawes, as I would have loved my own daughter. In fact, I think of her as a daughter. She is the same age that my daughter would have been, if she had lived. I would love to think that my daughter would have been a little like Molly.

From my conversations with Molly, I understand that she doesn't have the best relationship with her own father, so I would like to think that she sees me as someone she can talk to get advice, not that she would listen to that advice very often.

Molly is so inquisitive, she constantly asks questions and the opinions of the people around her. Well not everyone, not the boys but Captain James and I are Molly's targets more often than not. And it seems that Captain James gets asked questions about everything going on here by Molly every time he turns around.

She is the first regular soldier I've met that is interested in the local people. She has reached out to the community, handing pens and sweets to the children, wanting Bashira to be her "soul" sister, she has no understanding what being a sister means to a girl like Bashira. Having a strong, independent woman, looking out for her is a new experience.

She is always wanting to learn various Pashto phrases. Her pronunciation and inflections are appalling but at least she is trying. Captain James says very trying.

Molly asked me about my family because she was genuinely interested in my story. It was the first time anyone had asked and one of the first times I had spoken about my wife and daughter since they had died. I found it good to be able to speak about them to someone.

Molly is brave, so very brave. There are so many times she has shown it...on the mission when the Taliban were targeting her, when she saved Captain James and Smurf on the bridge, staying with Bashira when she had the bomb strapped her. Many men would have crumpled but not Molly!

Molly has stood up for what she believes is right. Her insistence that we should help Bashira after the little girl gave us information, or rather gave Molly the information, and showed everyone that it is important to fix the smaller things if you want to fix the bigger picture. She wants all the children to be able to go to school, not just the boys. Funny, because she often says how little she went to school, she was thankful the army wasn't there to make her go to school.

But Molly is also compassionate. She worried constantly about Bashira. She treated all the wounded in the same professional manner regardless of who they were. In one instance when she had to examine and confirm the deaths of some Afghani soldiers at the mountain pass, it broke her heart as one of them was "Rolex boy", that's what she called him. You could see it written all over her face. She wouldn't want to play poker with the American soldiers, she'd lose every time. But at least, Molly knows what a real Rolex would look like and not get taken in at all.

She is capable of so much more than she thinks. I caught the end of one of her lectures to the new medics that she mentoring. I was so proud of her, standing there sharing her knowledge and experience so the next generation of medics can save even more lives. Her Pashto is still appalling but she never stops trying. Thankfully, most of the students speak English, although there are times when they are not sure if Molly is actually speaking English.

Molly Dawes has opened my eyes and my heart, both of which, with the loss of my family, have been closed for too long. She has reminded me that I need to work to get my country and myself back to 'normal'. And if my work with the British Army and with children like Bashira, leads to my country becoming the beautiful land it should be then I am all the better for having known and loved Molly Dawes.

I feel like I should protect Molly, as a father should, from others like Bashira's father and brother, but also from herself. The Taliban would like to do nothing more than to get rid of a person like Molly. Someone who wants to help all the people, who believes in freedom and justice, who is willing to stand up for what they believe.

However, with Bashira's father and brother it is far more personal. When I heard Bashira's brother saying it was all Molly's fault, I knew she would blame herself. And when the boy struck her, he was lucky that she is so forgiving, because without her pleading for his safety, there were at least two men in that room that would have killed him for touching her.

I have to protect her from herself. I know she feels responsible for many of the things that have happened on this tour. She feels responsible for Bashira, for Smurf, Captain James and for 2 Section. She doesn't realize that we are all better people for having known her and that we too are responsible for her. I know her comrades would die to protect her.

I love Molly Dawes, just as a surrogate father should.


	4. Chapter 4

We, 2 Section, all love Molly Dawes. She's our little sister, mother hen and girlfriend all rolled into one. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

We weren't real sure of her to start with, she sure seemed to piss the Boss off good and proper. He told her if she couldn't cut it as our medic he would have no hesitation in lobbing her from the plane. And he kept calling her "Medic" for ages like saying her name meant that she was staying. But then, after her run in with the Boss, Smurf vouched for her.

Although later on, he changed his tune. We think it had something to do with our medicals but a few of us gave her shit about freezing in the hospital and we didn't get a bollocking. So something went down that's for sure but we dunno what.

Molly, then put us in our places by going above and beyond. As we watched over her crawling her way through the minefield to Smurf, we didn't know if she or Smurf would make it. Then she bloody goes and blows a mine. We thought that was the end of her. And to be honest we all felt a bit guilty about the way we had treated her, not talking to her 'cos of Smurf, giving her shit in general.

Then she bloody pops up, right as rain. We could hear her voice crackling out over the comms. Back to business boys, cover our girl! But that wasn't the end of our Molly, not only did she nearly get herself blown up by going after the Welsh tosser in the minefield, she then went up the winch to the helio medi vac with Smurf to stop him from bleedin' out. The Boss was screaming into the comms that she wasn't to go, she'd be a sitting duck for any sniper but she couldn't hear a thing under the helio so up she went.

We all cheered when Molly flew past us in the helio with Smurf safely on board. That earned us a blast from the Boss, not being alert or focussed and that Molly had done something unbelievable stupid and disobeyed orders. We thought she was epic.

She looks after us all when we're out on patrol, handing us water when it's hot, which is 99% of the time during the day, always ready with band aids for blisters and eye drops from when all the dust and shit gets in our eyes.

Mol puts us in our place when she needs to. She proper rinses Smurf more than half the time. But we've all copped it at some stage, Mol has a pretty hot temper, even the Boss has been told, maybe not quite as bluntly as us boys but to be honest we give her heaps more shit than what the Boss does. Plus she doesn't want to upset the Boss and be on his bad side again, none of us want to be on the Boss' bad side.

When Mol and Smurf went on R and R together, Molly got all the things we asked for - the toothpaste, Marmite, boxers, eye drops even the protein shakes. She looks after us proper like.

And us, her. When she came back from that mission with the busted lip and told us some shit story about falling off the treadmill in front of the septics, we let her believe that we bought that story. But we found out what really happened, her been smacked in the mouth by the brother of the little kid she helped, we wanted to kill the bastard. No one touches our Dawsey without her permission.

She was trying to protect us, by not telling us the truth. She thought we would make it our job to make sure we got payback for her. And she was right, we bloody would have given half a chance. Lucky for us, Bossman made sure we got the chance, in fact, if not for the Boss, we wouldn't have known anything about it.

But then Molly goes and protects us by taking out Badrai anyway. She was a crack shot with the Boss' pistol. Her instincts took over, you know mother bear, protect at all cost! So she saves us and then she proceeds to save Smurf and the Boss with her medical training. Of course she says "just doin' me job".

We are just like family. Poor Dawsey, imagine having the likes of us, 2 section, as her "big brothers". She's the big sister when she's at home but with us, she's the little 'un. We love her, she's one of the lads. We'd die for her, just like we know she would do for us.

We love Molly. She's our sister, mother hen and girlfriend all rolled into one dynamic, brave, feisty, beautiful package.


	5. Chapter 5

Molly Dawes was my first real love. I mean I know we started out as a quick shag behind the Indian take away, but I always regretted not textin' or phonin' after that night. I knew I was going to Afghan so I didn't see much point in starting something with her. Sure, I've shagged plenty of other girls but Molly was the first girl I ever had real feelings for.

But the truth was I was a little scared. She was the first one to see me. I always stood in Geraint's shadow, even though we were identical twins. Everyone loved him, thought he was special, and thought he was better looking but Molly saw me.

And I'd heard about this Molly Dawes. This female recruit that was something a bit special. Then I finally meet her and I can see everything I'd heard hadn't really done her the justice she deserved. I was scared because I had feelings for this person before I'd even got to know them. God knows the shag was fantastic and that was enough.

Then Molly joins the Under 5s as a replacement medic. I recognised her straight away. How could I not? Her eyes, those amazing eyes.

The fact I'd treated her like shit and grassed her out to the boys in 2 Section after the Boss bollocked me for the patrol incident an' she still came after me in the minefield made me think twice. Molly kept talking, yelling actually, to me as she tried to find a path through the mines. She did actually blow one. Luckily, for both of us, she survived uninjured.

She then soddin' well saves my life again, by hanging off the rope when the medi vac came to stop me from bleedin' out. I can tell you, I knew I'd picked the right girl to give my heart too.

One of the other things I love about Molly is that she didn't know Geraint. Everyone, Mam, teachers, Captain James, everyone compared the two of us just because we were twins. And somehow I always came out second best but not with Mol.

When I got back to the boys after getting me "rusty bullet hole", they were completely ignoring everything I'd said about Molly and rightly so. They had made her the flavour of the month. The Corp took me aside after and told me the boys were all looking out for Molly as she went after me. They all had eyes on and they cheered when Molly and I made it to the helio.

I tried to tell Molly how sorry I was and that I'd always be there for her. I don't think she took me seriously, she kept laughing every time I said anything. But I'll show her, I'll prove myself to her.

Molly doesn't put up with any shit from me or the other boys. She calls us on all of it. I think it's partly 'cos her home life innit all that great and 'cos she's a fuckin' Cockney! She rinses all of us with no hesitation. Only Boss man escapes the wrath of Molly, though I did hear she gave him what for over his blisters.

I really tried to tell Molly how I felt, especially when we went home together on R 'n' R. When she rang me I was chuffed, better yet when she came to Newport. She did make me chuck the flowers, however. It was great to be together, as we both found that no one, not family or friends, really understood what it was like to be in Afghan. I mean how could they really? We had to look out for each other back home just like we did back there.

When we did get back, the boys all thought I'd gotten me leg over, again and I didn't say anything to change their minds. Did I cop a proper serve from Mol. She put it in no uncertain terms that we were mates, the best of mates, but we were never going to be anything more than that. And then I had to go and blurt out that I loved her. Fuck!

I went to the Boss to see how I should propose to Molly. Mam had sent me her ring 'cos she had a "bad feeling" something was going to happen to me and I wanted Molly to know my true feelings for her.

But then it all went to shit. I saw the Boss kissing Molly and them saying that they wanted each other to be the last thing they saw. It fucked me right up and I let my personal feelings onto the battlefield, just like they had. And we, Bossman and me, took our eyes off the prize. Molly didn't and she saved our arses out there, taking out Badrai and patching us both up.

I said a lot of things I shouldn't have out there, things I didn't mean but I was hurt that the two people in the world I loved and trusted had hurt me so much. When Mol turned up at the hospital I tried to make things right between the three of us. I hope I truly did.

Molly and me are still mates, best mates, thank God. I know she'll never think of me any other way. And I'm coming to grips with that.

You see I can still love Molly like I do, I'll just keep my mouth shut and take whatever type of relationship she is willing to give me. Molly Dawes will always be my first love.


	6. Chapter 6

My name is Samuel Charles James and I love Molly a lot.

She is very funny and when I met her at the hospital with Daddy and Mummy, she stuck her tongue out at me. It made me laugh.

Daddy told me that Molly was the person that had saved his life when the bad man shot him.

Daddy said that Molly put herself in danger to help him and another soldier, Smurf. His name is very funny. Daddy gets cross with me when I do something that might hurt me but he doesn't seem to be cross with Molly.

I think Daddy loves Molly too. Sometimes, I see them holding hands or kissing. Yuck!

I love Molly because she helped my Daddy when he was hurt and made sure that he could come home and because she makes my Daddy smile. Daddy needs to smile more and be happy because I think that when he was away he was very sad. He told me that he missed me and that he was sad that he wasn't home with me.

Molly doesn't poke her tongue out at Daddy to make him smile or laugh like I did, but when she is with him or he talks about her, he is always smiling. I like it when Daddy smiles, it makes me happy too.

I love Molly because I think she loves my Daddy too!


	7. Chapter 7

I fell in love with Molly Dawes in one of the worst places, under the worst of circumstances. I'd like to think it was a gradual thing but I don't know for sure but I do know she is a once in a life time love.

She didn't make a great first impression I can tell you. And the first few times she opened her mouth around me, was to change feet. She was trying too hard to fit in with the boys and the fact she was female and a late replacement made it harder for her. But even as we stood for the photo before boarding the plane I had noticed her beautiful eyes.

Maybe it all started with my blisters. I went with Molly to the Medical tent to get her to look at my feet, they were killing me. My new boots had rubbed blisters all over my feet to the point where I was bleeding into my socks.

Molly told me that my feet were quite smelly but she was "the nuts" and could fix them right up. I watched her that day as she dealt with my blisters. She had no idea how closely I was watching her. I was watching how professional she was as she moved her way around the tent gathering supplies. I took the opportunity to get some Intel from her on what had happened out on patrol.

No matter how hard I pushed, without making it an order to answer, she wouldn't drop Smurf in it and that told me all I needed to know. But when she made the comment about Smurf saving her arse in the ditch, I had to look at her arse. I couldn't help myself and a pert, little arse it is.

Then she goes and rescues that Welsh prat by putting her own life at risk. I almost didn't let her go. I caught the look from Kinders when I told her to wait out. But she said she could do it and that she didn't want special treatment because she was female. Little did she know it had more to do with what I was feeling for her.

I screamed myself almost hoarse telling her she wasn't to go up on that winch once she had him. I said to the boys what she did was stupid; she'd disobeyed a direct order and put her life in danger. And I also told myself how fucking awesome she was. I have never been so relieved to see 2 people get in a medi vac before; I was terrified that Molly would get popped by the sniper.

That, unfortunately, wasn't the last time I was scared when it came to Molly Dawes on tour. She seems to have a hit parade of death defying incidents, well they were for me. Chasing Bashira, on her own, to return her scarf, staying with her when she could have been red misted with the bomb or when Badrai was shooting at us. Molly seems to have more lives than a fucking cat. Thank God!

Then there was the "rosabaya" incident so then Molly doesn't want to leave for RnR. I didn't want her to leave either and all we'd done was hold each other's hands. The feelings were electric. There was so much we needed to talk about; what had happened in her tent, waiting out, Rebecca and Sam. But she needed to go, she needed a break from those cockwombles in 2 section.

I knew I was going to miss her dreadfully. I always looked forward to my conversations with Molly whether it was on patrol or when I was getting treatment. Miss Molly Dawes made me engage my brain for the first time in four tours. How could I not love a woman that made me think?

When Molly came back after her RnR I was so relieved to see her. I went to the Medic tent even before Jackie had gone. I was a little stand offish at the start, I didn't want to everyone to see how I felt about her, but I was happy to hear that Molly wanted to come back, back to me. She made me laugh for the first time since she'd been away.

Got me though, she'd been to Newport and London with Smurf. The green eyed monster reared its ugly head. I decided to cut and run, then and there. Molly didn't have any feelings for me. It was all in my head for God's sake. How could I be so stupid? Why would this amazing, young, smart, vibrant woman be at all interested in a boring, divorced, older soldier?

Then after sentry I find my Rosabaya coffee capsules sitting on my bed, tied with red ribbon. She had thought about me after all. I could have slapped myself for being such an idiot. The way I'd treated her since she got back was like some tragic, jealous teenage boyfriend. But that's when I knew that Molly Dawes had completely, totally and utterly stolen my heart.

I knew I had her heart when she followed me to the sheet that covered Sohail, not knowing if we'd even survive. She thought that I was out of her league? Ha! Try the other way round. And then she tells me she's "fond" of me. I really don't know what I was going to say to her before Sohail's hand reach out from under that sheet. I know I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her. Not quite the right thing to do in front of the Section, army regs and all that. I'd already told Molly that love wasn't stronger than army regulations.

I don't for one moment regret kissing Molly in that hot, dusty little room. I don't remember much of that day, due to the trauma and surgeries but I vaguely remember the sensations. The softness of her lips, the smell of her hair, her breath on my skin. And then my mantra for this tour failed me. Stay focused, stay alert, stay alive.

I lost my focus on the task at hand. I let my personal feelings interfere with my duty and I very nearly got Molly, Smurf and myself killed. If not for Molly, it would have ended quite differently. She saved us both and took out Badrai. I still get a case of the shakes when I think about how close I came to losing the most important person in my world.

After all the things we've faced I've come to realise that Molly is my Halley's Comet, my once in a lifetime woman, my once in a life time love.

 **Author's notes**

Hi all! Much love to all those who have read, reviewed, followed or favourited (?) the story. I appreciate it.

But I have questions for you all. Do you want a final chapter in which Molly writes about the loves in her life? Or are you happy to leave it with CJ having the final word? Let me know!


	8. Chapter 8

I have lots of men in my life that I love and all for different reasons.

Dad, when he's not bein' a complete wanker, is the first man that I've ever loved. I mean when I was little, me an' him always played together an' that but when he hurt his back, everythin' changed. Then I became a teenager an' it really went to shit. Plus there were the other little bleeders around.

I mean I still love him, he's me Dad after all, even if he's a right prat to me. But as long as he looks after me Mum an' the other kids, I'll keep me mouth shut. But things are better now that I've joined the Army. I think it gave me an' Dad the space we needed from each other.

Corp. Geddings from basic training is another man that I love. I thought the Corp fancied me 'specially after they UFASed Chris Ingrams, but now I can see that he was more about being a teacher. He loves me as a teacher loves a student, not somethin' I ever experienced at school, I drove the teachers balmy.

Corp. was always trying to teach me, like about the bloke, the class clown that fucked up on his tour or about first impressions an' tryin' make a good one. He'll kick my arse if he hears about the first impression I made on my first tour.

Qasseem is a lovin', gentle man who I love as a father figure. I think he survived one of the worst things that could 'appen to a person, losin' your family. My Nan would call him a true gent. He was calm, steady an' supportive, everything my old' man is not.

He understood how I felt about Bashira. He knew I felt responsible for her an' for all that 'ad 'appened to 'er. I think he felt a bit responsible for me an' all. He always spoke to me quietly an' gently 'specially if the Bossman 'ad given me a gob full about somethin' I'd done or said. I know it had something to do with me bein' the same age as his daughter, if she'd lived.

He was always on alert, looking out for me, on patrol. He was the one who heard that they were targeting me, he was the one telling the Boss they were trying to detonate the bomb strapped to Bashira. Qasseem always listened to me and he tried to help me talk to the locals, 'earts an' minds an' all. He persisted even when my attempts were appalling. Qasseem once told me that early on he wasn't sure that I actually spoke English. Cheeky bugger!

Then, God help me, there is the mob that are my self-appointed "big brothers" 2 Section. I love them all just like family. The boys always look after me, 'specially in Afghan. Our start was rocky, on that first day, the photo, thank God Smurf smoothed things over for me.

The turning point in my relationship with them was when I went after that Welsh wanker in the minefield. I could tell they were freakin' out so I tried to be as calm and professional as I could. I could hear 'em on the comms calling out to Smurf to talk to me. An' when the mine went off, they were callin' for me as well. I knew they were watchin' out for me an' Smurf, ready to pop the sniper if 'e put 'is 'ead up to take a shot. I could see them all cheerin' when we flew past, I bet the Boss gave them a right bollocking for not stayin' focused or alert.

After that the boys looked after me. Not always in an obvious way- someone would grab the kit and leave it by the med tent after patrol, a cup o' tea would appear when I'd be workin' late on medical reports and they'd leave me alone when I was sittin' watchin' the stars.

I love them boys, they don't half do my 'ead in and they take the piss more often than not, but they're family an' after all we went through in Afghan I feel responsible for them. They're my tossers.

Then there's the biggest pain in my arse, the Welsh tosser. I love 'im, 'e's me best mate in the whole world. He drives me nuts, half the time, more than half the time really. When I saw 'im that day at Brize and it turned out 'e was in my Section I knew I'd be in for it. Luckily he said the right things but then later on after I'd shared my concerns with the Boss, he slagged me off good an' proper to the boys, left me right out on me own.

Then he goes an' gets shot. In the middle of a minefield! I had to go get 'im, I didn't think the Bossman was gonna let me go, he kept sayin' I 'ad to wait but I knew 'e'd bleed out if I didn't get to 'im. I did my job, I got to 'im, patched 'im up an' got 'im to hospital. I wasn't gonna let him die, the Section would all blame me.

When we were home on RnR Smurf was my life saver. Bein' home, bein' "normal" was doin' me head in. After the welcome 'ome at mine I rang 'im. It was bleedin' obvious we were goin' through the same stuff so I headed to Newport. It was good to be together, we understood each other when no one else did or could.

When Smurf died right in front of me, it completely shook my world. Nothing would ever be the same again. Smurf loved me, wanted me to marry him, but he deserved a girl who would love him completely, for himself. I loved 'im as me best mate an' it was never gonna be anythin' more.

There's a small man in me life who I barely know but I love completely, Samuel Charles James. I first met 'im at the 'ospital with 'is Mum and Charles 'ad just recovered from his last op. He was so excited the nursing staff 'adn't rubbed off 'is message to his Dad.

'E's been around a few times when I've been there with Charles. We try not to be obvious about how we feel about each other until Charles has a chance to talk to Rebecca an' then to Sam. But I'm sure 'e's seen us 'olding hands maybe even kissin'. We can't 'elp ourselves sometimes after knowin' how close we came to not gettin' the chance to be together.

I love Sam, 'e's his father's child in looks an' how 'e acts an' talks an' the way 'e smiles. I love to see 'im an' 'is dad smile.

Then there's Artan. I love 'im because 'e pushed me toward the Army an' Charles, to get away from 'im an' the dead end life I was goin' to be livin' if I'd stayed. He was such a tosser. I don't know what I ever saw in 'im or the other wankers I 'ad as boyfriends.

But now, now I see exactly what 'e is. It only took experiencing the others, 2 Section, not that I'd 'ave any of them as boyfriends either, and spendin' time with Qasseem an' Bossman to know how I should be treated by someone who says they love me. I'm well rid of 'im.

Now I 'ave my Captain. 'E's the love of my life and 'e loves me an' all.

We didn't get off to a good start on the tarmac. He threatened to toss me off the plane if I couldn't do my job or fit it. Bloody first impressions! Mind you I didn't like him much neither but I did appreciate the way he filled out his uniform and his gorgeous brown eyes.

It all changed, I think, after I treated his blisters. Not that I treated him any better or worse, than any other numpty who hadn't thought to break in his new boots before wearing them 24/7 in hot, dry conditions. Then there was the incident with Smurf in the minefield. But I was only doing my job.

Goin' on RnR was one of the 'ardest things I 'ad to do. Bossman turns up in my tent, jus' after my shower, I was still dryin' me 'air, wantin' a favour. Next thin', I'm not sure how it 'appened, we were holdin' hands an' starin' at each other. I promised 'im I'd come back, we needed to talk about Afghan, what we were goin' to do in the future or if we even 'ad a future together.

I knew after 'is reaction to the news about me and Smurf spendin' time together that there was somethin' between us. I nearly 'ad an answer from 'im when we walkin' towards what turned out to be Sohail. An' then at the 'ospital Charles wipes away my tears so gently. I knew he 'ad feelin's for me. An' then he gave me that gentle kiss before it all went to shit on the bridge. Not that I regret that kiss at all. I remember everythin' about it! How Charles held my face, the smell of 'im, the heat of the room and how I felt in that moment.

I still wish it 'ad been me that was hit, not 'im, never 'im. But Lady Luck smiled on me one last time and gave me back Charles. It could 'ave been a whole different ball bag. I'm so thankful and I plan on lovin' 'im for a lifetime.


End file.
